Peer-to-peer violence, or bullying, is a form of aggressive behavior that repeats over time, with the main goal of intimidating or hurting another person (physically or psychologically). It can be direct or indirect, verbal, physical, emotional, economic, sexual, and cultural. A key characteristic of peer violence as a social interaction is the power imbalance between the bully and the victim, and the social visibility of that interaction—specifically, the approval obtained for such behavior from other peers, the observers.
For a certain group of bullies, violent behavior is more linked to impulsivity and poor social skills. These children perceive a greater number of situations as provoking, which is why aggressive motivation, or the tendency to attack the source of provocation, occurs more frequently in them.
There is no single answer to the question of why a child begins to behave violently. Nevertheless, there are certain characteristics of the family and the child that can influence the development of violent behavior, as well as characteristics of the school environment and culture that can encourage or prevent the occurrence of violence.
Reasons for peer violence
The family in which a child grows up, as the primary source of support and learning, plays a key role in the development of violent forms of behavior. An authoritarian parenting style, a lack of attention and warmth, witnessing violent behavior at home, or insufficient parental supervision or care can lead to a child feeling invisible and helpless, subsequently resorting to violent behavior as a way to regain power and control over what is happening in their life.
On the other hand, children who grow up in families with too much power, receiving everything they want throughout their lives and being raised without clearly set boundaries, can develop the belief that everything in life should be subordinated to them, regardless of the wishes and needs of other people. They often use violence without any moral reflection, which is clearly evidenced by study findings stating that a significant lack of empathy—compassion toward victims—as well as a refusal to take responsibility for their own actions, has been observed in children with violent behavior.
In addition to individual and family characteristics, the characteristics of the wider environment in which a child is raised are also important for the development of violent behavior in children. A culture in which violence is tolerated without appropriate sanctions, and a value system in which ”attack is the best defense,” promote beliefs where aggression emerges as the best solution and the shortest path to achieving one’s goals.
From all of the above, it is clear that the prevention of violent behavior is a complex and multifaceted problem that must involve society as a whole. Besides education on the nature of peer violence itself and the dynamics of social interaction between all those involved in the cycle of violence (the child experiencing violence, the child with violent behavior, the observers), it is of crucial importance to develop clear prevention programs that will be applicable in both school and home environments, based on the principles of positive adult involvement, setting clear and firm boundaries regarding unacceptable behavior, and the consistent application of sanctions for every rule violation. Furthermore, as individuals, we are all duty-bound to contribute through our own example to creating a culture with zero tolerance for violence.
Consequences of violence
Timely and effective prevention of violent behavior in young people is important because it also prevents a large number of psycho-emotional difficulties for all those involved in the cycle of violence. Although a higher prevalence of certain psychological issues has been observed in both perpetrators and observers, especially in later stages of life, it is certain that children who suffer violence bear the greatest psychological consequences of that violence.
Exposure to violence is a major stressor that strongly undermines a child’s perceived sense of quality of life. Nevertheless, most of them choose not to tell anyone about it. Although the reasons vary from child to child, most stem from feelings of fear, shame, or a lack of trust in available social protection systems.
While some children choose silence out of fear that telling someone will only further worsen the situation, others remain silent out of shame, thinking that adults or other significant people will consider them cowards or weaklings. Also, talking about violence necessarily involves discussing their ”flaw” or the reason why they stand out from their group in some way, which is always a painful topic for them that they seek to avoid at all costs. A portion of children, especially those who have been victims of domestic violence, accept the violence also because, due to a low sense of self-esteem and self-worth, they feel they have somehow ”deserved” the poor treatment or personally provoked it.
For all these reasons, timely intervention by parents and schools is of exceptional importance—primarily through creating an atmosphere of open dialogue in which the child feels they can talk about such experiences, and then through concrete assistance in dealing with bullying behavior.
In some cases, psychotherapeutic work is also indicated, aimed at empowering the child through processing the painful feelings that abuse causes, recognizing and replacing maladaptive coping mechanisms with more adaptive ones, and working on self-confidence and reclaiming control over what is happening in their lives.
The project is supported by the Municipality of Novo Sarajevo.